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Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail & What to Do About It

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January 2, 2020 By Laura Ligos, MBA, RD, CSSD Leave a Comment

Ah yes, we made it all the way around the sun again just in time to make some New Year’s Resolutions, am I right?! Well, the sad thing is that 80% of you, statistically speaking, will fail to follow through with whatever it is that you (and me for that matter) set out to do this year. We start the year out optimistically only to fall short by the time mid-February rolls around. So why bother with New Year’s Resolutions  anyway?!

Honestly, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with setting resolutions, so I’m not here to tell you to give up and hope that you win the lotto or something like that. Instead I want you to understand why these resolutions aren’t working and what my suggestions would be instead. I want you to ride this high of the new year and benefit from the magic that is the 1st of the year. Let’s plan on being a little kinder to ourselves this year and a lot more realistic about what we have the time, resources and capabilities of achieving this year, sound like a plan?

New Year’s Resolutions

Why do we set New Year’s Resolutions anyway? My theory is that like anything, we need structure and excitement to get sh*t done and after a few weeks of indulgence and lack of structure (hello Holidays) we are teed up to try something new at the start of the year. The beginning of anything signifies hope and endless possibilities, so why not set your goals to be over the top and everything you ever wanted?!

The problem here is that if  we are unrealistic, which we usually are this time of year, we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. I think we do this for 2 reasons. 1. We really do want what it is we are seeking but we block out the HOW and/or 2. We want to make the goal unrealistic so if we fail to meet it, we have the excuse of it being too big of a goal. The problem with goals being unrealistic is that we won’t reach our goals but worse we’ll be left feeling like we are complete failures and that we might as well give up on everything.

OK, STOP (hammer time…).

This isn’t what life if about. I’m currently reading the book Grit by Angela Duckworth and if it’s taught me anything it’s that those with realistic expectations and GRIT are the ones that end up seeing success. NOT the ones who set the biggest goals, nor the ones that start out in the best position to win or be successful.

That’s right, grit and being realistic are what we should be focusing on in the long term. Not some lofty goal that looks good on paper (errrrr, Facebook) but instead something that we are passionate about AND that may need some hard work to get accomplished. I know, it doesn’t sound all that sexy or earth shattering, but sometimes that’s what we need to hear, the cold-hard-truth.

Sassy’s New Year’s Resolution

Let’s take  a pause for me to get vulnerable and to tell you what I’m going to focus on this year. I, too, have been unrealistic in the past, so it’s time I set some focus, goals and tasks for myself and have you to hold me accountable. I love having a fresh start each January and feel recharged and reinvigorated after a few weeks of family time, so it’s a great time to capitalize on it and set some goals.

My main focus this year?!

This year, I want to stop playing small and show up more often and more visibly in my business. 

That could mean anything. So to get more specific, here are some areas I’m working on to see this come to fruition. 

  1. Content. I will produce content weekly, thanks to a content calendar that I’ve already created to ensure I show up weekly for you, my audience. I even have hopes of starting a Youtube channel, EEK! Stay tuned. 
  2. Systems. I will put plenty of systems into place so that I can improve how I connect with businesses, brands & clients and so that there is more organization and less fumbling around and thus I can be more efficient and get more done, PLAY BIG. 
  3. Schedule. I will set a schedule and stick to it (within reason) so that I, once again, get sh*t done and play big. 
  4. Me time. As selfish as that sounds, I cannot be there for you if I’m not taking care of me and let me tell you 2019, left me very drained and frazzled. So, I’m working on the word “no” and hoping my schedule will allow me to schedule in me time as well. 

To accomplish the above, I will have to form some new habits (i.e. weekly goal setting meeting) and set some smaller goals (i.e. 4 blog posts per month) in order to achieve what I am setting out to do. I will set weekly and monthly check-ins (as I suggest many of my clients do) and see where I am at and if I need to either change how I’m approaching my resolutions OR change direction completely, which is incredibly OK. 

Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

Ok, now it’s your turn. Instead of setting an unrealistic and negative goal, i.e. I’m so fat I want to lose 20 pounds, turn it around and say “I want to prioritize my health this year” To start, you can set the goal of making your lunch from home 3 days per week this January.

It’s amazing how if we simplify, shorten AND change the tone to a positive one, we can make the resolution seem not only achievable BUT enjoyable. I’m not saying whatever you set out to do will be easy, it won’t be, I promise. But if we can find a way to make it enjoyable I guarantee it will be easier to accomplish.

Sassy’s Suggestion

So here’s your task, write down a few areas you want to work on this year, like health, nutrition, fitness, finances, business, etc.

Then pick ONE to focus on for January, not ALL. Make a small goal for the next 30 days. WRITE IT DOWN. Then set a reminder in your calendar to alert you to check-in with yourself either weekly or at least monthly. If you hit that goal and it feels sustainable by February, great, add another and go on like that the rest of the year. 

Here are the steps:

  1. Write down areas you want to focus on this year. (i.e. nutrition)
  2. Pick a focus/vision/word/phrase for the year.  (i.e. energy) 
  3. Set a realistic goal for January. (i.e. pack lunch 3 days/week from home) 
  4. Troubleshoot anything that might get in the way. (i.e. crazy busy mornings, so schedule time to pack lunch at night before bed) 
  5. Monitor & Evaluate at least at the end of the month. (i.e. set an reminder 3 evenings a week to pack lunch  & a reminder at the end of the month to reevaluate.) 

Ta da! Now you have the guidelines, it’s your turn! Here’s a calendar to help you out. 

Some of my Favorite Resources

Sometimes the best thing you can do is invest time in yourself, your learning, and your health now for resolutions, goals, and habits that form down the road. These are some resources that I use personally and with clients to find long-term success and hope they do the same for you. 

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Grit by Angela Duckworth 

This is Joy & Claire Podcast

The Four Tendencies Quiz by Gretchen Rubin 

Meal Planner on Amazon

What are you looking forward to focusing on this year?! Don’t be shy, comment below! 

xoxo,

Sassy

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Pin Now, Resolve Later

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@thesassydietitian

We’ve made it over a week together and it feels We’ve made it over a week together and it feels like it’s always been this way.

Motherhood is a wild ride & it’s only getting started. I have never been so tired & simultaneously so fulfilled in my life. That’s not to say it’s not filled with tears, worries and doubts but what fun would it be if it were all sunshine and roses anyway?

Going into this all I have felt so supported by friends going through this with me BUT I felt so unsupported by the general public. It seems like we want to fear and shame moms because misery loves company, right?!

The focus quickly shifts from mom to baby (still shocked that I only have an appointment at 6 weeks even though my body went through the biggest event of its life) and there also seems to be this shift from joy to shame & guilt.

Here’s some of what I heard from people:

😕Sleep when baby sleeps. You’ll never sleep again.
😕Don’t let baby sleep in a car seat, or a bouncer, or anywhere but their crib EVER. 
😕You’ll never have time to shower again, enjoy it now. 
😕Cry it out is cruel and harmful to the baby. 
😕Get baby on a schedule/never put baby on a schedule.

These are all things I heard and that truly led me to believe I was going to lose all sense of who I was and my life as I knew it.

What I wish people had said instead were:

🥰Your heart will grow bigger than you could imagine.
🥰You’ll cry the happiest tears you’ve ever cried.
🥰You’ll feel like a giant hole was filled that you didn’t even know was there.
🥰You won’t feel guilty about cleaning your house, it just won’t matter anymore.
🥰Babies pooping will make you laugh so hard you will feel like a kid again.
🥰You will have time to eat and shower and you don’t have to neglect yourself.

We need to do a better job of building each other up, supporting one another and our decisions while refraining from offering unsolicited advice and opinions. 

So for all you future mamas and new mamas out there, I see you, I’m proud of you and I cannot wait to share our stories with one another and the world.

Let’s stop fear mongering (just like the diet world) and start building one another up.

Xoxo,
Sassy & lil sassy man
🌈Some things truly are worth the wait. It’s b 🌈Some things truly are worth the wait. It’s been a long year of loss, unknowns and worry but it’s all been worth it to get to meet my lil man🥰
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Now time to introduce this sassy human who is already so well loved to the world...
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Introducing 

💙 Connor James Ligos 💙
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After an almost 24 hour labor, Connor joined us over a week past his due date on 2/12/21 at a whopping 9lb2oz & 22.5 inches long with a full head of hair and lungs to scream hello to us with.
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We are so in love already and cannot wait to share him with the world. Thank you for all the love and support from friends and family and to all those that helped us in the hospital. Holy cow labor & delivery teams are truly magical and I cannot imagine doing it without all of their support.
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Now back to snuggling this human of mine and trying not to cry at every last thing he does 🥰 
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Mom, Dad & Bode are all doing well!
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#babyboy #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #birthdayboy #birthannouncement
I get it, we all eat so we all then want to talk t I get it, we all eat so we all then want to talk to others about what worked for us. That's great!
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What's not great is when we push our nutrition and eating behaviors onto others ESPECIALLY when we are not qualified to do so.
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So often when people meet me for the first time they are worried to eat around me and/or buy groceries around me. My friends can attest I am not judgemental around food and will gladly eat that cake, queso dip or sip on that glass of wine right alongside of you. I am not the food police and do not offer unsolicited nutrition advice unless it's a client who is paying for my help OR on Instagram and other social media platforms where my goal is to educate.
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Why do I share this? 
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Because I see far too many people diving down diet rabbit holes, finding success & then claiming to be nutrition experts purely because something worked for them. 
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I've also seen this alot being pregnant, everyone wants to tell you what worked for them. IF you use that stipulation of "this worked for me" then fine, share away but if you start doleing out advice please pause, take a breath and think about NOT doing it.
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People are OVERWHELMED by diet culture and some so badly want to change but YOUR way is not the only way and it most likely is not what will work for your friend/coworker/cousin/neighbor so please, stop trying to be an expert in something you aren't.
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Got it!?! 
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Ok, carry on.
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xoxo,
Sassy
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#nutrition #nutritiontips #nutritionist #dietitianapproved #rdapproved #rdchat #dietitiansofinstagram #dietitian #dietitiansofig #albanyny #albanynutrition #albanynutrition
Your nutrition does NOT need to be all or nothing. Your nutrition does NOT need to be all or nothing. I'm not saying you have to find perfect balance (does that even exist?) but I am saying that we shouldn't feel like either we have to eat perfectly or that we might as well give up.
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Instead we should look to the grey area in between for our nutrition guidance. 
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What do I mean?
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I mean that we need to realize that we can still eat cookies but we probably should throw some veggies in there. 
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We can have a glass or 2 of wine but we should probably also drink some water. 
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We can take rest days but we should also find ways to move our bodies regularly.
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And the list goes on.
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It's not about all or nothing it's about doing something daily to help your health and nutrition without it feeling like a set of rules or a free for all.
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How do we find that grey area in between?
👉🏻 stop hopping on and off fad diets
👉🏻listen and trust your self, not your coworkers and cousins 
👉🏻focus on the simple things (ie drinking water instead of worrying about supplements)
👉🏻work to remove guilt and shame around food & body
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Where do you currently fall Right now?!
🤪 all
👍🏻in between 
🙅🏻‍♀️ nothing 
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Xoxo,
Sassy
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#dietitian #dietitiansofig #dietitiansofinstagram #nutrition #nutritionist #nutritiontips #thesassydietitian #rdchat #realtalk

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