Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail & What to Do About It

Ah yes, we made it all the way around the sun again just in time to make some New Year’s Resolutions, am I right?! Well, the sad thing is that 80% of you, statistically speaking, will fail to follow through with whatever it is that you (and me for that matter) set out to do this year. We start the year out optimistically only to fall short by the time mid-February rolls around. So why bother with New Year’s Resolutions  anyway?!

Honestly, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with setting resolutions, so I’m not here to tell you to give up and hope that you win the lotto or something like that. Instead I want you to understand why these resolutions aren’t working and what my suggestions would be instead. I want you to ride this high of the new year and benefit from the magic that is the 1st of the year. Let’s plan on being a little kinder to ourselves this year and a lot more realistic about what we have the time, resources and capabilities of achieving this year, sound like a plan?

New Year’s Resolutions

Why do we set New Year’s Resolutions anyway? My theory is that like anything, we need structure and excitement to get sh*t done and after a few weeks of indulgence and lack of structure (hello Holidays) we are teed up to try something new at the start of the year. The beginning of anything signifies hope and endless possibilities, so why not set your goals to be over the top and everything you ever wanted?!

The problem here is that if  we are unrealistic, which we usually are this time of year, we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. I think we do this for 2 reasons. 1. We really do want what it is we are seeking but we block out the HOW and/or 2. We want to make the goal unrealistic so if we fail to meet it, we have the excuse of it being too big of a goal. The problem with goals being unrealistic is that we won’t reach our goals but worse we’ll be left feeling like we are complete failures and that we might as well give up on everything.

OK, STOP (hammer time…).

This isn’t what life if about. I’m currently reading the book Grit by Angela Duckworth and if it’s taught me anything it’s that those with realistic expectations and GRIT are the ones that end up seeing success. NOT the ones who set the biggest goals, nor the ones that start out in the best position to win or be successful.

That’s right, grit and being realistic are what we should be focusing on in the long term. Not some lofty goal that looks good on paper (errrrr, Facebook) but instead something that we are passionate about AND that may need some hard work to get accomplished. I know, it doesn’t sound all that sexy or earth shattering, but sometimes that’s what we need to hear, the cold-hard-truth.

Sassy’s New Year’s Resolution

Let’s take  a pause for me to get vulnerable and to tell you what I’m going to focus on this year. I, too, have been unrealistic in the past, so it’s time I set some focus, goals and tasks for myself and have you to hold me accountable. I love having a fresh start each January and feel recharged and reinvigorated after a few weeks of family time, so it’s a great time to capitalize on it and set some goals.

My main focus this year?!

This year, I want to stop playing small and show up more often and more visibly in my business. 

That could mean anything. So to get more specific, here are some areas I’m working on to see this come to fruition. 

1. Content. I will produce content weekly, thanks to a content calendar that I’ve already created to ensure I show up weekly for you, my audience. I even have hopes of starting a Youtube channel, EEK! Stay tuned. 
2. Systems. I will put plenty of systems into place so that I can improve how I connect with businesses, brands & clients and so that there is more organization and less fumbling around and thus I can be more efficient and get more done, PLAY BIG. 
3. Schedule. I will set a schedule and stick to it (within reason) so that I, once again, get sh*t done and play big. 
4. Me time. As selfish as that sounds, I cannot be there for you if I’m not taking care of me and let me tell you 2019, left me very drained and frazzled. So, I’m working on the word “no” and hoping my schedule will allow me to schedule in me time as well. 

To accomplish the above, I will have to form some new habits (i.e. weekly goal setting meeting) and set some smaller goals (i.e. 4 blog posts per month) in order to achieve what I am setting out to do. I will set weekly and monthly check-ins (as I suggest many of my clients do) and see where I am at and if I need to either change how I’m approaching my resolutions OR change direction completely, which is incredibly OK. 

Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

Ok, now it’s your turn. Instead of setting an unrealistic and negative goal, i.e. I’m so fat I want to lose 20 pounds, turn it around and say “I want to prioritize my health this year” To start, you can set the goal of making your lunch from home 3 days per week this January.

It’s amazing how if we simplify, shorten AND change the tone to a positive one, we can make the resolution seem not only achievable BUT enjoyable. I’m not saying whatever you set out to do will be easy, it won’t be, I promise. But if we can find a way to make it enjoyable I guarantee it will be easier to accomplish.

Sassy’s Suggestion

So here’s your task, write down a few areas you want to work on this year, like health, nutrition, fitness, finances, business, etc.

Then pick ONE to focus on for January, not ALL. Make a small goal for the next 30 days. WRITE IT DOWN. Then set a reminder in your calendar to alert you to check-in with yourself either weekly or at least monthly. If you hit that goal and it feels sustainable by February, great, add another and go on like that the rest of the year. 

Here are the steps:

1. Write down areas you want to focus on this year. (i.e. nutrition)
2. Pick a focus/vision/word/phrase for the year.  (i.e. energy) 
3. Set a realistic goal for January. (i.e. pack lunch 3 days/week from home) 
4. Troubleshoot anything that might get in the way. (i.e. crazy busy mornings, so schedule time to pack lunch at night before bed) 
5. Monitor & Evaluate at least at the end of the month. (i.e. set an reminder 3 evenings a week to pack lunch  & a reminder at the end of the month to reevaluate.) 

Ta da! Now you have the guidelines, it’s your turn! Here’s a calendar to help you out. 

Some of my Favorite Resources

Sometimes the best thing you can do is invest time in yourself, your learning, and your health now for resolutions, goals, and habits that form down the road. These are some resources that I use personally and with clients to find long-term success and hope they do the same for you. 

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Grit by Angela Duckworth 

This is Joy & Claire Podcast

The Four Tendencies Quiz by Gretchen Rubin 

Meal Planner on Amazon

What are you looking forward to focusing on this year?! Don’t be shy, comment below! 

xoxo,

Sassy

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