Mindful Monday: Love The One You’re With

Happy Monday friends! Lately love is in the air and I could not be MORE excited. I don’t mean to me a complete mush but sometimes I get sappy and am a hopeless romantic. So, that being said, shout out to two of our closest friends for getting ENGAGED this weekend (and for trying to hide it from us ALL dinner), congrats Bryan and Nicole! Also, shout out to one my oldest friends Kate for her upcoming wedding this weekend, I cannot wait to celebrate and cannot wait for you to move Upstate, WAHOO! It’s always exciting when you see good things happen to good people. It just restores my faith a bit in all things human and love, not that I need it because I am lucky enough to be loved by my hubby 🙂

We spend so much time focusing on all the evil in the world, I just want to acknowledge how much love there is and how great that can make us all feel. Alright enough (well almost enough) mush for one day…

It must be that it’s getting chilly out and people are looking to snuggle up but this is not what I am here to talk about, even though it is Love Actually season. I want to talk about how you need to love the one you’re with whether it’s just you or there is someone else in the picture as well.

Let’s start by talking about loving yourself.

Many of my clients tell me they want to look like they did at some point in their life, or they want to look like so-and-so because they are beautiful, gorgeous, whatever. Now, I am not saying that you could not improve your health or you could not reach a goal like stated above BUT wouldn’t you feel much better in general if you loved yourself a bit more? Especially today, right now. We all think that if we reach some goal, lose X amount of weight or achieve a certain status that we will be happy and content with who we are. However, how many of you have reached a certain weight or a goal and still felt empty inside? Chances are a good amount of you have and it’s time we figure out why.

When I sit down with my clients, many have weight and health goals. They are great because they are measurable but I always ask them to dig deeper. WHY do you want to lose weight?  WHY do you want to “be healthy”? By asking these questions we get down to the root of it all. I then ask them if they can forgive themselves when they “mess-up” or when the scale says a number that has NO relationship to who they are deep down as a person. Once we can get past that, the weight loss or health goals tend to follow, it’s kind of magical and not at all scientific.

Imagine, if we can love ourselves how much love there would be for our significant others, our pets and our children and family? We’d spend less time counting calories and more time catching up with the ones who matter most. Sounds much more fulfilling to me.

Now, I’m no love guru and I am certainly still learning every day but it’s been shown that even hugging can have a significant effect on your health. There is even such a thing as the Broken Heart Syndrome. Loving yourself and loving those that love you is so important for your health, so get out there and start showing yourself and others more love (and hugs!)

Here are some sassy tips on how to love the one you’re with:

1. Listen: this is a biggie. This means listening to yourself, your body and your loved ones. This does not mean we need to STUDY ourselves and our partners but we do need to listen and be present. It’s amazing how much we can learn from ourselves and others when we block out all distractions (ahem, phones and computers) and really get in touch with how we are doing or how our loved ones are doing.
2. Forgive: I am allowing you to forgive yourself and others for the mundane things. Sometimes my hubby leaves the bathroom seat up and it makes me SO angry. I get over it pretty fast and forgive him because let’s be honest that is so trivial and says NOTHING about our relationship. Same goes if you are trying to lose weight and you eat a piece of chocolate. Forgive (don’t forget) and move forward. Learn from the situation and be better because of it.
3. Laugh: One of my favorite quotes from Charlie Chaplin is “A day without laughter, is a day wasted” as I could not agree more. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, with yourself and for yourself. You should also be able to do that with the ones you love. Go ahead, make a joke in the comments, I love laughing 🙂
4. Show Gratitude: This can come in all different shapes, sizes and ways. Don’t you feel great when you treat yo’self? What about when your significant other shows you gratitude? Don’t you think we should probably do more of that? We all could, myself included. You can even take the 5 Love Languages quiz to figure out your love language and what gratitude looks like to you.

All that being said, I think until  you love yourself you are not able to fully love someone else. And believe me love is apparent, when it’s real, everyone sees it, you don’t have to prove it, it proves itself. You don’t have to convince anyone, it shines through.

Ok, that’s it, that’s everything. Go on and “Love The One Your’e With” and have a great week.

xoxo,

Sassy