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This Is A Judgment-Free Zone

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September 11, 2018 By Laura Ligos, MBA, RD, CSSD 1 Comment

judgment-free zone

I’m here to clear the air. This is a judgment-free zone. I know that might sound bizarre to some of you, but I feel like it needs to be said. It can be really hard to decipher lately what is guidance and what is judgment. We are constantly bombarded with “eat this, not that” or a research article that disproves your way of eating to support someone else’s way of eating. I think this happens because when you are inexperienced at giving guidance it can sometimes come across as (or maybe flat out is) judgment.

Now, certainly, I have evidence-based beliefs that certain foods, lifestyle habits, fitness regimens, etc. are better than others, but that’s just non-biased science (we hope). So, if you come to me drinking soda, sleeping 4 hours a night, and working out once a year, I’m not going to judge you. I’m going to guide you, and hopefully, help you improve your health in some capacity.

If you slip up, guess what? I’m not going to judge you.

Slip up again? No judgment

Go to 10 other experts before asking my advice? No judgment.

Ghost me and come back a few days/weeks/months/years later? No judgment.

See the trend?

While sure my nickname is “Sassy” it has more to do with my personality, outlook on life, and inability to go down without a fight. I cannot help you with your health goals if I’m sitting there judging you. We cannot change how you ate in the past if I’m sitting there judging you. I cannot change the fact that you haven’t worked out a day in your life if I just assume you should’ve been doing so and judge you for it.

What do I do instead?

I put judgment aside, figure out what barriers are getting in the way of you hitting your goals, and get to work. I can’t promise you every health professional will be that way. I can only be there for you in a non-judgmental capacity in hopes that you will find some helpful tips to improve your life. And, unfortunately, I definitely cannot protect you from all the internet trolls out there who seem to know best about your diet, lifestyle & fitness (without knowing your history).

Why do I need to clear the air?

It seems that people are nervous to “confess” things to me. This isn’t anything new of course. As soon as someone finds out you’re a dietitian & that your world revolves around food there are usually 3 (ok, maybe 4) different reactions:

  1. Nervous oversharing of information. (i.e. OMG when I eat X my stomach does Y, can you help!?)
  2. Immediate need to fess up or hide behind the cookies. (i.e. you don’t want to know how many cookies I just ate)
  3. Express all the nutrition knowledge ever found, ever. (i.e. okay so what are your thoughts on keto, because I read X, Y, and Z on this one webpage on the corner of the internet and since I’m now an expert, here’s my opinion)
  4. Nutritionist? Nutritionalist? Nutrition Coach? What’s the difference?

Now, remember, this is a post about how this is a judgment-free zone. So, if you fall into any of those categories THAT’S OKAY, I’m not judging you, I’m merely showing you what it’s like on my end. I don’t want you to be scared to come to me thinking I’m going to judge you, I’m not.

News Flash: Sassy Is Not Scary

However, I recently realized while talking to clients that they were nervous to tell me something, all of them. I felt really bad. They felt like they were coming to a confessional and that it would be torturous to do so. Heres the thing, I’ve heard a lot as it relates to food, health, nutrition, BOWEL MOVEMENTS, and other bodily functions.

You telling me that you “go” 2-3 times per day and that you can’t eat X out at dinner or you’ll have to excuse yourself from the table doesn’t phase me. You telling me that you ate an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting (haven’t we all?!) doesn’t phase. Haven’t worked out in months? Not phased.

I’m not here to judge, just to merely guide. If you find someone judging your way of eating instead of offering a sounding board, guidance and sound advice, let them go, unfollow them, and find someone who is in your corner. If someone acts as an elitist run for the hills. There is no PERFECT diet or way of living, and my guess is that “elitist” also has something to work on themselves.

No Place to Judge

I’m sure this will get somebody somewhere fired up, but I want to give a clear example on how I’m not here to judge. I personally do not follow a vegan or vegetarian diet/lifestyle. There are many reasons as to why I choose not to and also choose not to recommend it as a diet for any of my clients. Here’s the thing, I have vegan and vegetarian clients and we work together just fine.

Why?

Because I meet people where they are and work with them to find what works best for their life and their health. Yes, you can sit there and argue about the pros and cons of both. Heck, my clients and I could do that. But where would that get us?! Instead, I work with the diet that feels best for my clients and I help them make it the most nutritionally complete diet I can while explaining why we are doing what we are doing. There is no judgment involved.

Here’s another example: I have clients who come to me and tell me they eat out multiple times a week because they can’t make time for a healthy dinner. Sure, I could judge them and tell them they’re not trying hard enough and tell them eating healthy is easy OR I could meet them where they are at and make small changes to eventually help them get to the point where eating/cooking healthy is the norm.

Here’s the thing, I am in no place to judge you. I am only here to help and to guide. I, myself, don’t eat perfectly. Not that I have any idea what a “perfect” diet is, but nonetheless I am far from perfect. If you are sitting here reading this and thinking I’m wrong, maybe it’s time for you to look in the mirror and see if you are the one judging…

Food Police?

It seems that the more access we have to the internet and social media, the more we feel like we can be an expert on all things, including food and nutrition (thanks Google!). However, many don’t realize that giving nutrition advice is far more than reading something on a webpage. It is far more than preaching ONE way of eating or living. And believe me, it is not about shaming people on Facebook or trolling others on Instagram. Putting it lightly it is NOT being the Food Police.

I’ve seen far too many “experts” over the year sit there behind their computers/tablets/phone and pass judgment on others because of the way they eat/drink/exercise/insert-something-personal. While I’m not saying that we’re always right in what we eat/do/say, it may be more right for one person than the next, and that’s okay.

So, the next time you try and judge someone for the way they eat, remember there is far more that goes into eating and lifestyle behavior than you know and it’s not always our place to sit and judge someone for it. Leave it to a real expert to help guide someone when they are ready, end of story.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not the food police, just a {sassy} dietitian who likes to eat ALL.THE.FOOD and help you do the same, within reason. The end.

xoxo,

Sassy

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  1. Friday Favorites: Girls Gone WOD Podcast - The Sassy Dietitian says:
    October 5, 2018 at 9:24 am

    […] Judgment Free Zone […]

    Reply

@thesassydietitian

We’ve made it over a week together and it feels We’ve made it over a week together and it feels like it’s always been this way.

Motherhood is a wild ride & it’s only getting started. I have never been so tired & simultaneously so fulfilled in my life. That’s not to say it’s not filled with tears, worries and doubts but what fun would it be if it were all sunshine and roses anyway?

Going into this all I have felt so supported by friends going through this with me BUT I felt so unsupported by the general public. It seems like we want to fear and shame moms because misery loves company, right?!

The focus quickly shifts from mom to baby (still shocked that I only have an appointment at 6 weeks even though my body went through the biggest event of its life) and there also seems to be this shift from joy to shame & guilt.

Here’s some of what I heard from people:

😕Sleep when baby sleeps. You’ll never sleep again.
😕Don’t let baby sleep in a car seat, or a bouncer, or anywhere but their crib EVER. 
😕You’ll never have time to shower again, enjoy it now. 
😕Cry it out is cruel and harmful to the baby. 
😕Get baby on a schedule/never put baby on a schedule.

These are all things I heard and that truly led me to believe I was going to lose all sense of who I was and my life as I knew it.

What I wish people had said instead were:

🥰Your heart will grow bigger than you could imagine.
🥰You’ll cry the happiest tears you’ve ever cried.
🥰You’ll feel like a giant hole was filled that you didn’t even know was there.
🥰You won’t feel guilty about cleaning your house, it just won’t matter anymore.
🥰Babies pooping will make you laugh so hard you will feel like a kid again.
🥰You will have time to eat and shower and you don’t have to neglect yourself.

We need to do a better job of building each other up, supporting one another and our decisions while refraining from offering unsolicited advice and opinions. 

So for all you future mamas and new mamas out there, I see you, I’m proud of you and I cannot wait to share our stories with one another and the world.

Let’s stop fear mongering (just like the diet world) and start building one another up.

Xoxo,
Sassy & lil sassy man
🌈Some things truly are worth the wait. It’s b 🌈Some things truly are worth the wait. It’s been a long year of loss, unknowns and worry but it’s all been worth it to get to meet my lil man🥰
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Now time to introduce this sassy human who is already so well loved to the world...
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Introducing 

💙 Connor James Ligos 💙
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After an almost 24 hour labor, Connor joined us over a week past his due date on 2/12/21 at a whopping 9lb2oz & 22.5 inches long with a full head of hair and lungs to scream hello to us with.
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We are so in love already and cannot wait to share him with the world. Thank you for all the love and support from friends and family and to all those that helped us in the hospital. Holy cow labor & delivery teams are truly magical and I cannot imagine doing it without all of their support.
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Now back to snuggling this human of mine and trying not to cry at every last thing he does 🥰 
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Mom, Dad & Bode are all doing well!
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#babyboy #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #birthdayboy #birthannouncement
I get it, we all eat so we all then want to talk t I get it, we all eat so we all then want to talk to others about what worked for us. That's great!
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What's not great is when we push our nutrition and eating behaviors onto others ESPECIALLY when we are not qualified to do so.
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So often when people meet me for the first time they are worried to eat around me and/or buy groceries around me. My friends can attest I am not judgemental around food and will gladly eat that cake, queso dip or sip on that glass of wine right alongside of you. I am not the food police and do not offer unsolicited nutrition advice unless it's a client who is paying for my help OR on Instagram and other social media platforms where my goal is to educate.
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Why do I share this? 
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Because I see far too many people diving down diet rabbit holes, finding success & then claiming to be nutrition experts purely because something worked for them. 
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I've also seen this alot being pregnant, everyone wants to tell you what worked for them. IF you use that stipulation of "this worked for me" then fine, share away but if you start doleing out advice please pause, take a breath and think about NOT doing it.
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People are OVERWHELMED by diet culture and some so badly want to change but YOUR way is not the only way and it most likely is not what will work for your friend/coworker/cousin/neighbor so please, stop trying to be an expert in something you aren't.
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Got it!?! 
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Ok, carry on.
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xoxo,
Sassy
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#nutrition #nutritiontips #nutritionist #dietitianapproved #rdapproved #rdchat #dietitiansofinstagram #dietitian #dietitiansofig #albanyny #albanynutrition #albanynutrition
Your nutrition does NOT need to be all or nothing. Your nutrition does NOT need to be all or nothing. I'm not saying you have to find perfect balance (does that even exist?) but I am saying that we shouldn't feel like either we have to eat perfectly or that we might as well give up.
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Instead we should look to the grey area in between for our nutrition guidance. 
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What do I mean?
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I mean that we need to realize that we can still eat cookies but we probably should throw some veggies in there. 
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We can have a glass or 2 of wine but we should probably also drink some water. 
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We can take rest days but we should also find ways to move our bodies regularly.
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And the list goes on.
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It's not about all or nothing it's about doing something daily to help your health and nutrition without it feeling like a set of rules or a free for all.
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How do we find that grey area in between?
👉🏻 stop hopping on and off fad diets
👉🏻listen and trust your self, not your coworkers and cousins 
👉🏻focus on the simple things (ie drinking water instead of worrying about supplements)
👉🏻work to remove guilt and shame around food & body
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Where do you currently fall Right now?!
🤪 all
👍🏻in between 
🙅🏻‍♀️ nothing 
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Xoxo,
Sassy
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#dietitian #dietitiansofig #dietitiansofinstagram #nutrition #nutritionist #nutritiontips #thesassydietitian #rdchat #realtalk

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